Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Multiple Personality Disorders( Advantages)

We are certainly peculiar ...(we means who ever fall into this category of "mallus") a bangalorean way of labeling people from God's Own Country intruding into India's silicon valley looking for greener pastures. We are known for our Multiple Personality Disorders . I know its a controversial term !!! Perhaps, we are the only community in the world ,which can (with out any intricacy ) change our personality traits and behavioral complexities according to the place we are in. Readers, i foresee the most reasonable question that comes to your minds.....i am gonna be explaining why we are such good survivors :)

We are known for our personal hygiene , god knows why is it so ... :( apparantly, we have our shower twice a day and we have comparitively cleaner homes....but we make sure that we deposit all our trash on road while we are sitting in our air conditioned posh cars, again, we will be consistent in practicing this piece of nasty art, only if we are well with in the defined political/territorial boundaries of INDIA :) Any nation other than India, hmmm....*condtions appy :) whether we dine only at the most sophisticated posh hotels and drive a four wheeler which takes half of our NA(Net Assets portions in our Balance sheets) we will only put our shit on roads....and we never fail to proclaim that "guess what, you should see the London Roads man, Singapore also not bad" adjusting our prestigious Ray Ban glasses...never to forget , we make such remarkable statements very proudly with lots of fake disgust on our faces too :)
We satisfy our ego mostly by building massive houses (mostly made of fund flowing from ceratin other nations, popularily known as "gelf" ) And we surely derive some kinda secret pleasure when we know my house is a bit bigger than my neighbor's...oye...whats wrong in building houses with my own money??? the irony is most of these massive houses will have only grand parents, a domestic hepl, and a dog to live in :( and we portray ourseleves as the worlds most simple creatures and humbleness flow as a fountain from our heads :) We can live in small studio apartments( if possible we share it with another family too ) but only we are far away from our kingdom.
We dont mind cleaning the public toilet, driving the public transport bus ( the term we use here is KSRTC DRIVER which is a normal down stream job for an ristocratic spoiled brat) in any nation other than INDIA !!! awww...... no way we are gonna do any job that commands lesser respect at least as a top govt official does or a company CEO, in case we have a name sake diploma from any of the universities which (may or may not) exist in the United Kigdom or the Great USA, we will not even think of working at a start up organisation with a "not that big of a position"....whether the above mentioned "name sake stuff" has added anything to any part of our brains, is a different issue...but we like to be in the blind spot of "I AM FORGIEN EDUCATED AND ITS A SHAME IF I END UP DOING ANYTHING LESS THAN WHAT BILL GATES DOES" :)
We girls love being amma's angels, wearing sawar kammiz with a thick duppattah covered at least till our stomach, we hate to speak to men neither we forget to tactfully convince our parents that we dont like being friendly with men, we have not even heard of this word called sex, we will surely go have the holy bath in "Ganga" if a man happens to touch us :) jokes apart!!! we mallu girls do it all with extreme confidence and dedication while we are at home....aint it a good thing?? after all we have to keep our parents happy and proud, is that a bad thing to do?? come on .....!!! But when we cross the God's Own Country boarders, we some how happenen to get the Multiple Personality Disorder symptoms and we happen to indulge in businesses that "homely angels" may/may not consider as taboo . SURELY NOT OUR FAULT !!! the air in the respective lands to be blamed. After all , we know how to keep it all subtle...aint it a good plan to have MPD symptoms all the time consistently when we are away from home ??? :) THINK ABOUT IT ...... :) :)

1 comment:

  1. nice work!! ;)
    Its not that we all dont knw that mallus(its not just in bangalore, everywhere else non-keralites call us dat...even in dxb....if its not mallu, its malabari or madrasi.....these idiots dont knw that not all keralites r frm the malabar region...! n tht we ceased being part of the madras state a very lllooooonnnggg time back...) follow the policy of "When in rome, do as the romans do". He/she might do whatever he wants when in kerala...like littering n as u mentioned low-profile jobs like being a driver or a mechanic is a big no-no....but as soon as he gets to de 'gelf'...he doesnt mind as long as the pay is better than wat he would have got in gods own country...he wouldnt mind the fact tht he would be ferried from the crowded labourers camp to the wrk site in a stuffed smelly bus as long as he has enough cash to send to his family n get his dream home n tht 1 month of 'adichupoli' vacation time bak in kerala. I guess its this versatility of a "mallu" that they say, u can find us in each n every corner of the world....i guess thts another reason tht we r so good at pickin up new languages compared to others....but i never thought of it in the form of MDP....!! this post really got me thinkin... ;P

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